Be The Blessings Of All ('',)

This morning , I received a message from my coursemate. She blamed me for not doing my presentation slide properly. Okay , I admit , it's my fault for doing the presentation slide improperly and  so last minutes. She blame me , it's right !!! For this is actually my fault !! Due to my irresponsible , it brings lots of inconvenience to them . I felt guilty and so sorry TT I try to request forgiveness from them and of course , the next moment I redo the presentation slide. When I am going to open our conversation to check for the link for the references , some words just appeared directly in front of me , it is the sentences that blaming someone for not doing her task properly and drag her. It is right , the one who keep blaming is definitely my coursemate , and do not denied that the one who she referred to is exactly me !!! At that moment , I felt shocked and of course sad and hurt TT I wonder why she blame me in front of so many people ? Don't she know that facebook is the public page that everyone can view and comment ?? Although she did not mentioned my name , but can u image that when I m in a good mood to on facebook , and the first sentences that appeared in front of my sight is the words that blame me ??!! 

It is just like a sharp sword that directly prick into my heart !! I felt like heartache TT Do not denied that at that moment my heart felt extremely painful and hurt TT How can she treat me like this ?? Just because I did not do my task properly?! Okay , I admit !! It is my fault !! But it is definitely your fault for blame me in front of all the people !! And you revenge me by blaming me in a public page !! Yeah !!! She blame me in facebook !!! Do not denied that I am extremely angry !! But heartache more compared to anger !! In my personal opinion , it is childish to do such thing !! And in order to reveal your anger , you choose to hurt other people. Is it fun ?? Don't you knew that just because of your personal depression , just because you want to reveal your anger , you choose to hurt others !! How cruel it is and how selfish it is !! At first , I try to scatter my focus on it , for I consider it as an immature act. I try to pretend nothing happen and act like normal , for if I keep thinking , I am sure it will definitely hurt me more than that. Do not denied that I am angry with her immature act , but I pray for Father please do not let me fall into temptation , please do not let me hate her. I begged TT And I attend the lecture as usual , as normal as nothing happened , like everything is in control , like this thing never exist , and the most important is this thing never affect my mood and never ever to hurt me TT

But when I am going to share with my roommate , just to reveal my sadness. During the moment I describe the whole thing to her , my tears fall without my notice. Before that , I thought I am strong , I thought I will be able handle this thing , I thought I will not angry because it is definitely my fault !! Blame me in front of public is definitely her fault !! In this case , why I want to care about it ?? Why I want to make myself suffer a lot because of her mistake !! At first , I thought I may just felt like sad but I will never cried. But , do not denied that my tears fall without my notice TT Immediately I went into the toilet to wash my face , pretend nothing happen , I do not want to let her know I am actually crying. But at last , she discover my abnormal. AS usual , she just keep silence and let me silence myself , let me to calm down myself. 

When I calm down , I start to wonder why am I crying ?? In fact , I am not supposed to be cried , but at last , why I cried ? Finally , I get my conclusion. The tears that fall without my notice is the tears of heartache. I felt so pain she treat me like this , for she is the only one that walk through this three semester with me. Just because I treat her as my only friend !! And just because of my mistake , she treat me like this ??!! Do not denied I cried due to my heartache !! My heart break.......TT

I thought after crying , I will hate her and do not treat her as my friend anymore. But surprisingly , I discover that I do not hate her. It is true !! I try to hate her , but seriously I sense that I am unable to do so.. I wonder why ?? Is it because of the love of Christ that I received from HIM ?? Just as scripture 1st John 4 : 18-19 said so ,There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us.  

Yup !! I am unable to hate her , but I noticed that I do not know how to face her !! Father , please do not let your child fall into temptation , please do not let me either hate her or heartache when I face her. The most importantly , please do not let me think of the unpleasant hing that happen among us , for this will hurt me badly TT Please do not let me just love those who loves me so much but hate those who hates me , if like this , then what the difference among me and the peope unreached ?? What the difference among me and the satan ?? For he loves the one who loves him , but hates their enemies. O LORD  , please do not even hardened my heart just as YOU hardened Pharaoh's heart. Please never ever let me hates those who hates me , or those who offend me. For YOU said so , "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." In Jesus name I pray , amen('',)

In the other way , maybe I have to thank her for letting me learned a new lesson , which is do not immediately reveal my anger on others who offend us just for our own benefit. But calm down ourselves when we are in a hot-tempered condition , for the words that come out from our mouth without our own notice will directly hurt others. Do think of others when we do something , for we may felt guilty at the next moment when those words come out from our mouth , for we cannot compensate the hurt that we have created on them. And lastly , never ever blame people in public page like facebook , for the hurt we bring to them is more than we can ever imagine , which is the hurt that we ourselves cannot compensate. Thus , My Dear Heavenly Daddy , I will try to calm down myself when I am angry , do not spoke any words that hurt others , not even single words! For my existence , is not create hurt on others , but instead BLESSINGS OF ALL ('',)  

                              
                     WE LOVE , BECAUSE GOD FIRST LOVE US('',)